Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Be More Lady Like Sav.

The other night our friends, Wren, and I went shopping at Gateway.  It was late and there weren't that many cars left in the parking lot when we parked.  I had to pee something bad and we all know Gateway is the most  cumbersome of places to try and find a bathroom.  So I simply stated for everyone to just look away; I'd pee behind the car.  I've done it before and it didn't seem like such a big deal.  They all looked at me like I'd gone insane.  Wren says, "NO Sav.  You can't do stuff like that.  They'll get you for indecent exposure in a public place."  Okay seriously?  And then Michelle said, "Seriously Sav, you could wind up on the sex offenders list!"  WHAT?  I almost died laughing.  Then Wren had his little heart to heart with me where he gets real serious and gets these puppy-dog eyes and said, "Sav, really.  You need to be more ladylike.  You really can't just do stuff like that.  Think before you do things."  And the Michelle said, "No Wren I like her like that." HA!

Wren is constantly telling me of his plans of shipping me off to lady school.
So I might not be the most proper-est of girls.  Sue me.

I think Wren and my mom have these fantasies of me one day transforming into a becoming and delicate lady......
.....who knows how to set the table and daintily places napkins on her lap at social functions.
My mom would tell me growing up, "You're never getting married, you're gross."  And now that I am married, proved ya wrong by the way mother dearest, she'll say to Wren when I do something less than desirable, "Are you sure your glad she's your bride?  Do you even like her?!"  Then Wren politely says, "Yes I'm glad, but we need to teach this girl some manners, huh Sav?"
But really? 
I feel like this the majority of the time....
So to Wren and Holly:

Sorry I don't know how to set the table.
Excuseee moi for finding it uncomfortable sitting with my legs closed in a skirt.
Sorry I find that popping any zit to be intriguing.
Forgive me for burping in public.
Sorry I zero in on Wren's scabs then making the plunge before he can stop me, if I'm lucky I can get it one swoop.
Reprieve me for asking questions that shouldn't be asked.
Sorry for wanting to know how many times you've gone to the bathroom today, what?  It's healthy!
And excuse me for talking about inappropriate things.

Maybe one day I'll grow up and become a lady and be less fun.
Until then, sorry.  You're stuck with what ya got :)