Have a Little More Faith in Yourself

The other night as I laid wide awake at 4:00am trying not to annoy Wren with my restlessness (no big deal, I'm just growing his baby ;)), I started thinking about how much has happened in the four years that we have been married.  I started thinking about all of the times that were such big deals to me.  School in particular was one of them.  I was working full time, going to school full time, and was just flat out stressed.
Well one of the most stressful times for me was the first day of a math class.  It was my first semester at the U, I was nervous with just that alone, and math (a subject I have never excelled in) was just about enough to do me in.  But I had to complete this class for my major so didn't have a choice in the matter.  Mind you, I had not taken a math class since my sophomore year in high school, in which I barely passed.  To say I was stressed is the understatement of the year.
Anyhow, I show up to this math class the first day.  I was supposed to have taken Math 1010 as a pre-req, but since I was a transfer student from SLCC, the class registering system let me take the math class I needed right off the bat.  I thought I was being real slick in this maneuver until we started reviewing everything I should have learned in Math 1010.  The teacher was writing on the chalkboard at the speed of light- a+1=2b35c, square root of 5-6=... you get the point.  Any equation with numbers and letters does not fly with me.  But to my horror as I looked around the room, everyone was spouting off the answers, going faster and faster, as I was falling further and further behind.  Tears started to well in my eyes.  Needless to say, half way through the class I walked out.  I was done.  I knew I would not be able to take this class.  I should have taken Math 1010, but even the thought of taking that class, from everything we had just covered, seemed too big to handle.  I called my dad on the way home trying not to cry, asking him what he thought I should do.  He said to just stay in it.  If everyone else could do it so could I, and I'd have to take it regardless so why not get it over with.  The next day, this is the email I sent the teacher, "Hello, I'm sorry to bother you.  I will be completely honest.  I didnot understand any of what you wrote on the board yesterday.  Would yousuggest I withdraw from the class?  Is the material we are tested on andhave homework on based purely on the information we talked aboutyesterday?  I have always been horrible at math, it has never made senseto me.  I am going to have to take this class regardless whether it is nowor later, and I wish to do it now rather than later.  I was hoping to seewhat you think would be best for me to do.  Thank you for yourtime.~Savannah"
Isn't that the saddest email you've ever read?  He sent this email back...
"No, what we did yesterday is not all that the tests and homeworks will bebased on. The material we'll cover Thursday will be different, however,those skills (from yesterday) are needed later on.  As for the firstassignment - don't panic. It's okay to get help if you need it. You arewelcome to come by my desk, today, Friday afternoon or some other time,and I'll be happy to walk you through most of the problems. If you'd likesome extra time with that, we can work something out that is fair toeveryone in the class. The important thing is for you to learn and not forme to attach a number to your work.
As for dropping the class, it's your academic career so it is up to you -but know that if you need help, it is available, either through me or thetutoring center. I would suggest that you stick with the class as long asyou can, maybe you'll have more confidence in your abilities as the summergoes on, and in case you do drop it, the work you do now will only helpyou for the next time you take it.
Don't panic and quit, if you put in the effort, I am sure you'll be fine.
Take care."
What a nice teacher he was.  Long story short, even though this post is anything but short (LOL), I bucked up, stayed in the class, worked harder than I have ever worked before, did more homework than I had ever done before, missed more episodes of watching So You Think You Can Dance with my husband than every before... but you know what?  I passed.  With a B+.  After grades were released, I received this email from my teacher,
"This was the email you sent me the first day of class -
Hello,    I'm sorry to bother you.  I will be completely honest.  I didnot understand any of what you wrote on the board yesterday.  Would yousuggest I withdraw from the class?  Is the material we are tested on andhave homework on based purely on the information we talked aboutyesterday?  I have always been horrible at math, it has never made senseto me.  I am going to have to take this class regardless whether it is nowor later, and I wish to do it now rather than later.  I was hoping to seewhat you think would be best for me to do.  Thank you for yourtime.~Savannah
- hopefully, since you did great in the class, you'll have a little morefaith in yourself."
I guess the moral of the story is, 1- If other people can do hard things, so can we.  2- Maybe we should all have a little more faith in ourselves, wouldn't you say?  If we don't, who will?3- This was like the biggest deal ever at the time, I can't even explain to you.  And now, four years later, I've never really thought twice about it.  These last couple months have been so exciting but very stressful as well, it's just been the unknown for us over here.  But you know what?  A year down the road, this time right now, will be another distant memory and I think everything will work out just as it should.  I think it usually does.