Thursday, December 20, 2012

December 20, 2012. Eleven YEARS???

Well it has officially been eleven years since Wren asked me to be his girlfriend.  Member this post?  Read it if you haven't, not only does it explain the cutest story of the most precious little boy wearing his heart on his sleeve, but it's a hilarious.  I used to be funnier... Then I went and had a baby, and let's be honest, who in their right mind has time to be funny with one a them things on their arm? 
So what better way to celebrate today then sharing some direct quotes from the one and only Wren?  There's little that is, so here we go.
Awhile back, we were driving to look at a house (I just shuttered).  Wren was driving and the speed limit was around 40 mph.  Well Wren likes to do this attractive thing where he cuts the speed limit in half and drives at that speed.  It's really cool of him.  Actually I really like it now that we have a baby, but every once in awhile when we're running late to our destination it's absolutely mandatory to go the speed limit.  Back to the story though.  I look over and I see he's only going 20 mph.  So sarcastically, I says to him, I says, "Woah, don't go too fast."  He looks over with the most confused look and screeches, "I'm only going 20!"  
B-d-d-d-d-ch.
Sometimes I threaten that if he's not nice I'm not going to get up with Radcliff the next time he wakes up in the middle of the night.  I'll tell him it's going to be all him.  One time Wren said, "Okay so you're telling me...  I'm going to have to go get him out of his crib, heat up a cup of water, wait while your frozen milk heats up, and then hold the bottle the entire time he drinks it, when you on the other hand can just slap him on and fall asleep?"  Yes honey, yes.  That's what I'm telling you.  Get prepared.
One time his beady little eyes fell fast asleep on the couch but before drifting off into his deep slumber, he was crying about how hot it was because of my heater.  I refused to turn it off though.  As Kanye once said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?  Fast forward an hour into his nap, he wakes up and rises like the dead guy from his casket in Hocus Pocus and screams, "ALLLLL I DOOOOO IS SWEEEEEEAAAAAAT!"  And I laughed, dismissed it, and left the heater on ;)
He left his phone at home the other day, and right as we walked in the door he ran to his beloved to see what calls he had missed.  As he looks at his phone, his face turns sad and says, "The only person who called or texted me today was you."  I know many a male suitors who'd a been happy to see this spring chicken's name show up on their phone ;) ;) ;) 
And last, I like to force Wren to take baths with me in our tiny little tub.  Well we were sitting there one night and I turned around to look at him because he seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness.  He's sitting straight up (no relaxing in the tub over here), staring straight at the wall, with the most hilarious face I have ever seen.  I said, "Okay you're having way too much fun back there."  He said, "It's like a bad meeting.  I'm sweating to death and wondering when it's going to be over."  
Again, b-d-d-d-d-ch.
So happy I said yes to your baby face and 21 roses eleven years ago Jib Jab! 
I'm expecting a treat and flowers when you get home.  You owe me that!