So the other day we were sitting at our dining room table eating and a 60's something lady in our neighborhood walked passed our house. Wren said, "Not meaning to be rude, but have you ever noticed that lady has the 'crazy lady eyes' going on? You know what I'm talking about, where they seem like they could snap at any second?" I started laughing and, sadly, had to agree with him.
This got me thinking about women and what could cause one to get these so called 'crazy lady eyes' and then it occurred to me... Why the heck would a lady in their 60's not have 'crazy lady eyes'?
Here's just a sliver of what I'm talkin about... (and keep in mind while I do all of these things I'm quickly trying to come up with things to keep a little man child occupied.)
1. The five million, two hundred and sixty two times we've washed our faces and put our makeup on. Freak, just putting on eyeliner and mascara alone (my two dreaded deeds), are enough to make a lady crazy. And then every night, just like clock work, it's time to wash it off again. And again. And again. Dramatic? No. It sucks.
2. The two billion, forty six million and twenty two times we cook a meal and then clean it up. Over and over and over again. And somehow every meal, even the ones you think will be quick and painless, seem to still make the biggest bombs ever. How is this possible? And then it's extra fun when your child refuses to eat what you just cooked so then you have to turn around to cook something else and then clean that up too. And high chair messes? In and allllll around it? Well that's enough to make any person, man or woman alike, go crazy.
3. Oh the millions of times we have had to wash and do our hair. I swear guys just do not understand. It always seems to be the times I've just washed and straightened the beast that Wren wants to go hot tubbing or swimming. I want to say, "Are you crazy?!" I can get at least two more days outta the ordeal that went down in the bathroom this morning. A big thing when you've just got what seems like zero time to do it. It's not getting wasted. The hair thing alone, especially us curly haired ladies? Well that's enough to make someone go crazy. Fast.
4. The quadrillion times (Not a word? I don't care, I'm slowly going crazy anyway) we have had to shave our legs, armpits, and bikini lines. It. Never. Stops. Growing. Making me crazy? Yes. Razor burn? Eat dirt.
5. The two billion, thirty seven million times we will have to put our children back together. Whether it be the 'beep' of the smoke alarm that Radcliff can just not seem to forget, or the sticky hands that he constantly has, to the billionth poopy or wet diaper that needs to be changed, to the semi-truck, monster truck, airplane, helicopter, race car, or bus, and of course, train, that I always need to have on hand to throw back to him in the car, to having to drink out of every "diffrunt cola" cup we have. Or just reading that millionth book for the millionth time, because it's just his favorite. And then he's hungry again, for the food that I didn't end up cooking (the coconut chocolate chip pancakes I made this morning from scratch...? Seriously dude?) As amazing as having kids is, it will still make you crazy. And I just have one!
6. And laundry? I swear I get it folded and put away and I just need to throw another freaking load in. Laundry alone, I swear, will make me crazy. I promise you.
So between the incessant multi-tasking women do throughout every second, to the million mundane, and almost pointless seeming tasks we do all day long (that are just slowly being undone as we do them), it truly would be a freaking Christmas miracle if we didn't have that crazy look in our eyes when we hit our 60's. A little Christmas miracle. Let's embrace the crazy! Because if you're anything like me. It's bound to happen.
