I'm sitting, or should I say laying, here in St. George in our hotel room, while Wren is in a meeting, wondering what the heck to do with myself. As a Mama who's constantly multi-tasking, whether it be handing someone this, wiping someone's that, or making someone's EVERYTHING, I don't quite know what to do with myself when there's no one around and nothing to do. It's like I dream of moments like this all the time, and then, BAM... It hits you, and it's like, now what? But at the same time, it's really amazing. Like I took a long hot bath, by MYSELF (a rarity these days!), and now I actually have time to write a couple things down. So here we go. Let's do dis, shall we?!
So first, though... Wren's mom is seriously the best. Like the bomb. The bomb.com! She came to our house and has been watching the boys for us to go on this couple day getaway. Wren had a meeting this morning and yesterday morning, both just from 9:00 to noon, so we decided to make a little trip out of it and it's JUST what we needed. We have never left the boys and although I like having them around a million times more than not, it's been the perfect amount of time away with Wren. What's that you say, honey!? I can actually listen!
Yesterday morning, I dropped him off for his first meeting and went and shopped at the cutest store in Cedar City called Recycled. I stayed there for two long hours, just browsing and processing everything I saw (another rarity!) It was pretty close to heaven! After, I went and picked Wren up and we went and got a big Thai lunch and headed to Zion's for the day. We hiked for three hours and talked and talked, and saw a ginormous tarantula, yes, you heard that right. Wren seriously almost stepped right on it, and it was just absolutely awful and the size of his hand (see pic below!) But other than that crazy encounter, it was perfect! We made it to the top of the hike and the view was just ridiculous. Am I the only one that looks at ginormous red cliffs and gets a little dizzy??? It was pure gold being able to have uninterrupted conversation and hiking with Wren! But I did miss my little hiker buddies. We felt like we were cheating on them or something because they would have loved it. For the first hour. Ha! After. we came and checked into our St. George hotel room and went to George's Corner Restaurant for a great big dinner and dessert and than came back to the hotel room and watched Taken 3. What better day could I even ask for? Even though Taken 3 was pretty terrible. As soon as Wren gets back, we are headed the heck home. I'm literally dying to see my babies and have zero idea how parents take longer trips than just a couple days. I need them!
And not that anyone cares, but that time of the month lately has been hitting me like bag full of bricks to the face. With Rad's pregnancy and then nursing him through Bear's whole pregnancy, I'd been lucky enough to not have my period for like three whole, incredible years! Oh the glorious days. But let me tell you what, it's like my body's getting me back for not having to have it for so long. It's like it's saying, "Now listen here little missy, you think YOU (of all people) can bypass mother nature for thaaat long? Hell no. Think again. Because you did this, we are going to take allll those periods and missed PMS's and roll them up into the next three periods and you are going to be sorry. Like real sorry." And wow. Let me tell you what self. I.AM.SORRY.
I'd like to think of myself as a pretty easy going person, but when it's been that time now... Wow. Just wow. I have been a little bit (a LOT bit) crazy. I was having just a downright frustrating day a couple days ago and trying my best to keep my head above water and not kill anyone or anything and to keep as much to myself as possible as to not hurt anyone's feelings (every thought that came to mind could have just been a dagger to most hearts) so reclusing it I was (it's a PMS term I just came up with. Fitting, right?) I had just organized my entire closet and with two little men running my life, well that's an accomplishment in and of itself. Rad and I had been having a fun time that evening, he had been telling me about him and Wren running at the track and how he couldn't run very fast cause he was too hot and thirsty and then we started to wrestle and get silly and he said, "Let's go wrestle downstairs, Mommy", and I said, "Ok, just one sec, I'm going to hurry and put your laundry away and we will in two minutes." Well in those two minutes, he went into my closet just to hide from me, and accidentally knocked down all the shelving units at the bottom where everything was that I had just folded. Still able to keep my cool, I said, "K Rad hop out, it's ok." I was holding one of the little plastic pieces that had once helped hold the shelves together, and then walked into the hallway with tears in my eyes and asked Wren in a very annoyed voice if he could come fix my closet. He replied with a, "Sav, yes, but try to calm down." And you guys. It was like I had fire in my eyes. That was it. That was the one phrase no one should have told me. I think the stare I gave him, alone, could have killed someone. Oh no he didn't. Without even thinking, I threw that little plastic piece at him from upstairs, like so fast and so hard, and I think in the moment I was aiming for his face, and he dodged it and I'm pretty sure Rad saw the entire thing and he has honestly never had to witness anything close to anything like that ever in his whole life, other than himself throwing things at Bear sometimes, lol! I immediately regretted it and felt so dumb but still felt the need to slam every door I walked through until I ended up in the bathtub where I cried and cried. Besides the fact that I just made myself out to be a complete lunatic, I still don't know what the heck I was even crying over. I guess being a mom is ridiculously draining sometimes and then pair it with PMS and wow, it's just a lethal combo. I got out of the tub and went straight to bed even though I wanted so badly to go curl up on the couch with Wren and watch Fear The Walking Dead (have any of you started? Amazing.) But I felt too dumb even though he'd never try to make me feel dumb for it. I love him for that.
A couple hours later, after getting Radcliff to bed, he climbed in and rolled over next to me and tickled my back. I groggily apologized and wished the whole thing could have been a bad dream, just as it felt in that moment. I'm so lucky to have such a sweet and sensitive husband. And one that can patiently put up with a psycho for a couple days outta the month. But the funniest/saddest part of this story was, right when I had hopped my pathetic self into the bathtub, Wren headed up to come help his poor wife, and Radcliff said, "Ooooooooh Daddy. No, No. I don't think you should go up there." Oh man. Poor thing. He was kind of right! I should have just gone downstairs and wrestled.
Well, I hope that story made you feel better about yourselves but at the same time, I'm praying I'm not the only mom these types of things happen to. On our hike yesterday, Wren and I were laughing so hard about it and he was like, "I have never seen you like that!" Good thing that's true. I told him how sorry and embarrassed I was and he said from now on, when that hits me, he'll take the boys that night so we can steer clear of another incident like that. Oh how I love how forgiving him and the boys are!
Well now Wren's back so off to see our babies! Woop, woop!