Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Time... Where Does it Go?

The long weekend went way too fast as it usually does.  On memorial day my dad took my sister and I to lunch at Market Street Grill, as he claims, is his favorite thing to do, buy us food :) (my mom and other sis were takin it easy at home)  But we got on the topic of babies and I started thinking about time and how fast time REALLY goes.  It's insane.  There are so many thoughts that come to mind when I think about time.  

I think of my parents, and that it probably seems like yesterday to them that they were my age.  Newly married, talking about things they wanted to do with their life, when they would have babies, and now all of a sudden their oldest is 25!  It makes me scared to have babies because when I was little I thought my parents knew it all.  But now that I am the age that my mom was when she had me, I think, how did my parents do it?  It makes me very thankful for all they sacrificed for me.  When my mom turned 50 a couple of months ago, she way saying that when you're young, you never think getting old is going to happen to you, and then.... you wake up 50.  (Lucky for me, she looks and acts like she's still 30.  She always tells me how incredibly lucky I am that my mother will never get old.  I am!)  But she was also saying that it's hard to watch your parents get older and be a parent to your adult children.  She says it's a little disheartening.  Time is good and bad I suppose.

I also think about time, and get stressed.  I think, what am I doing with my life?  I want to look back on this time in my life and not wish I would have done more or enjoyed it more.  Because let's face it, when I have kids, I know I am going to look back and think, "What in the world were you stressed about Savannah?"  The thing is, I KNOW I can enjoy life more, but I just get so busy and don't always stop to enjoy life, enjoy exactly the moment I am in.  I think I just get anxious sometimes and it's hard for me to relax and just be content with where I'm at in life.  I'm always wanting to get from point A to B.  I need to figure out a way to just be happy with the exact spot I am sitting in right now because life is so good.  Last night, Wren and I went on a bike ride and the sun was setting, and the clouds were incredible, the sky was pink and blue and everything the sun was shining on was illuminated in gold, and I was PERFECTLY content.  I looked over and saw my husband riding his bike, smiling at me, with the sunset in the background and I thought to myself, "Life is so good!"  I'm constantly learning how to find these precious moments because I know they are everywhere, I just need to stop and realize it.  

Yesterday as I was folding laundry, and rushing to get it done, I knew I was going to get another work phone call, disrupting my lunch, and have to go help someone.  I was feeling kind anxious and annoyed.  But then I stopped, looked up, and saw the gorgeous mountain view out of our huge bedroom windows and thought, "Why would I have a reason in the world to feel this annoyed right now?"  I have an amazing family.  My husband's family is incredible.  (We always talk about how lucky we are that both of our families are just the best)  I have my perfect, sweet, and patient husband.  We are all healthy.  A roof over our heads, ample amounts of food.  Entertainment at our disposal.  What's not to be happy about?  So I got thinking, how would I feel if tomorrow I had NONE of this, if it was just all taken away from me; if I had nothing?  I would be heart broken and devastated.  But then what if the day after that I got ALL of it back?  I would be the happiest girl in the world, it would be pure joy!  I think I just need to think about life in this light more often.  Who cares if I wasn't able finish folding the laundry before I got bugged, it's still going to be there when I get back.  And you know what?  It's going to be there every other day for the rest of my life, so why get stressed over stuff like this?  Dwelling on all the trivial things I should be doing, are wasting precious time that I will never get back.

Wow, I get deep on my days off huh?  So anyway, here is a picture of my dad, sister, and I when we were babies. (I think we are all pretty dang cute if I do say so myself!  And Rachie's piggies and my dad's curls?  PERFECT!)       
And now flash forward 25 years..... Here we are.  Happy and healthy.  See, time does fly! :)
And might I add that lunch on Monday was superb....
AND that the service was even MORE superb?  Yes... I did take a picture of the waiter.  And YES, he probably did think I was completely insane :)
Anyway, thanks for listening to me go on and on and on, and tell me, do any of YOU ever have these feelings?  I'm telling you, I would give someone a million dollars, and no I don't have a million but I will take a LOAN out and pay it off the rest of my life, if someone could make sense of ALL of the thoughts that go on in this brain of mine ALL day long.  Too much alone time I think.

Well HAPPY WEDNESDAY!  It's my day off, so I'm off to ENJOY!