Thursday, November 10, 2011

Wren Chronicles Edition II

Okay before we get to this post, I just HAD to share this incredible story!  Mrs. G just linked this blog post up to my blog yesterday and I am still shocked after reading it.  You MUST read it.
Click here to read.
It truly is a miracle right?  So glad he's okay!

Now, are you ready for the SECOND Wren Chronicles?  
If you're new to my blog, welcome :) AND Wren Chronicles is a recap of all the crazy and insane things my husband does/says.  So if you're so inclined.  Stay, read, and laugh.  He's a funny one.  And if you missed the first Wren Chronicles, you can go here to see it.

*Wren says I look like a Japanese samurai soldier when I wear my hair like this...
He says my eyebrows really help add to the illusion too.  I was like, "Whatever.  You're rude."  And he was like, "Google it.  You do."  
So that I did.  And I am slightly depressed...
...because he's kind of right.

*In other news, after he got home from Moab, he told me he saw a lady there in a gas station with breast hair.  I was like, "NO!"  Then he's like, "Oh wait I mean armpit hair...."  Okay HUGE difference there honey.  Then he said, "And then at another gas station we saw a girl with a huge mustache!  And the weird thing is, I think she was proud of it.  AND that's okay!  That's cool she's proud."
Wow.  Stay classy Moab.  Stay classy Wren.  

*We were driving in the car the other day and I was blowing my nose when all of a sudden Wren jumped so high and started looking around.  I was like, "What?!"  And he was all, "Someone just honked at us!"  "No honey, that was just your sweet & delicate wife blowing her nose.  Calm yourself"
I'm special.  He's special.    

*I had a really cute girl send me candy from Germany.  There were these little candy things that barely pop in your mouth when you chew them (remember the word barely).  Well I gave one to Wren (like feeding candy to a baby).  He put it in his mouth, started to chew, I hear a "pop", and then he jumped and screamed, "Woah!  WHAT!?" in the most frightened tone ever and then started to choke.  I wish I had his facial expression documented.  It was priceless.  He easily scares, this one.
And nothing is as funny to me.  Not even when he slips and falls.  Well actually, maybe when he slips and falls.  

*And then, again, I was on another "menstrual psycho active behavior" as Wren calls it when I typed this email to him the other day.  I'm scared for myself...

"Okay do you have the freakin citi-bank credit card with you?  Since you deleted everything I can't find the password or login to it anywhere.  I called in and they can't even give it to me, I'm going to kill someone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you have it, what's the 3 digit code on the back?  I'm restaring my folder.  You're not the one who has to pay the bills so you're not the one who has been figuring stupid passwords out ALL DAY LONG!"

I'm a raging lunatic.  BUT in my defense, Wren deleted this folder I created in my email to save all of our hundreds of logins.  Yet this is what I relied on to remember info for websites to pay and view our bills.  Well since he deleted it AND obviously I was not thinking clearly, I spent, no joke, like 3 hours trying to get ONE password.  It was beyond pathetic.  And there were tears.  Wow my blood pressure is going up just typing this.  It was a BAD day, let's just say that.  But don't you worry your pretty little self, Savy's fine today.

Well here's the funny part of this scenario; Wren's email back to me...

"Sorry Savannah,

As we can both see you are a bit hormonal which is okay J.  Just realize that you shouldn’t save that stuff in your email especially the savings!!! You can make a folder with any name you want, but it would be easy for someone to hack the email and have all of that information.  I can send you a thousand articles that say NOT to do that. 

Let’s talk about your email.  That is pretty funny if you asked me.  I am a simple phone call away, yet you decided to call customer service and get frustrated.  Why?  In order to make menstrual psycho active behavior even worse? Ha ha, calling customer service with monthly rage is a bad idea.  I hope this makes you smile cause it sounds like you could use it.  

Yours Truly,
Wrentacula, who hides passwords to make your life worse.  That was totally my intentions!"

As mad at him as I was yesterday.  I sure do LOVE him :)

Way to keep me smiling Wrentacula!